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Two dragons attacked me and now they’re sleeping together. The guards found it so interesting that they all left their posts to appreciate this beautiful work of art.
kristinaqm: butinternetkidsneversleep: contrabaes:thatsnottveryraven:killm-holbrook:losangelescasualty:When you drop in block your guard instructor be like….Fus-ro-da’d yo ass I’m laughing so fucking hardDamn kristinaqm Lmfaooooooo FUS-RO-DA
cobrakun12: unknownkadath: ciel-phantomhive: whatsayyousir: teatray-inthesky: forever reblog I laughed so hard it hurts. OMG the Skyrim guard… They were aiming at the guard.
This khajiit wasn’t too eager to let herself be titfucked but the law was clear on the matter; ”Those who consume skooma within the city are subject to breast-outercourse at the guard’s discretion”
chefpyro: skyrim guard: now you best not go looking for old man fucks murder cavern quest added: look for old man fucks murder cavern
“I remember being called out of the assemblage, the guards strip searching me to take all the skooma I picked off the shipments or the inns…It kept happening in the weeks to come…That’s why I asked you to do it for me. They won’t question
“You’ll have to forgive Neetrenaza for being so softspoken. A year ago he had a terrible accident with the grindstone…it caught onto his clothes and literally sucked them in, leaving him naked to Windhelm’s chill. The guards did nothing to
I lost a bet and lost my clothes for a good week.Being naked and laughed at by the guards is minimal, it’s the cold that’s biting into me, now if you’ll excuse me…I need to continue my work
“I’ll admit that the guards tossing me into jail for my crimes against them was expected, but stripped searched and kept there a few days with nothing but my underwear was more embarrassing. They even had me walk from my cell to the main armory to
“As you can see, Scouts, Stands and Neetrenaza had a night of immense drinking, and apparently they stripped down to their underwear and danced about in their stupor. The guards have confiscated their clothes though, and I expect they’ll only get
vuhii: saladsaladnovski: The text beneath women appears to say “the law,” which is the original quote. I have to know why someone took a picture of a skyrim guard and wrote a completely random guard quote in impact font over it the times were different
zackthelion: Skyrim guard: wait…I know you Me, 300 pounds over encumbered with stolen cheese wheels and solid dwemer metal, waddling by: you don’t know shit bitch
orcpost-generator: Guy guarding orcish stronghold in skyrim: why should we let you in Me trying to speak through my own tears: please
taibhsearachd: ruffboijuliaburnsides: jessicalockeisveryconfused: ruffboijuliaburnsides: taibhsearachd: So apparently in Skyrim, if you just eat all your stolen items in between the “wait I know you” and actually getting arrested, the guard will
sica-this-url: role-playing as a skyrim guard on omegle
lol Truth.
astrolatry: candlehat: thejediwalking: Look Sir… Droids LAUGHING MY F*CKING ASS OFF OH MY GOD Which are worse at their job. Stormtroopers in Star Wars or Hold Guards in Skyrim?
gamefreaksnz: These Aren’t The Dragons We’re Looking For… USD ภ.96 I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a lightsaber to the knee. OMFG!! THEY DID IT! THEY ACTUALLY WENT AND DID IT!
Since when did Skyrim guards become downers and emos?
webofgaming: The life of a Skyrim guard.
Let me guess...
mirkokosmos: somewhere in markarth.. GODDAMN FUCKING SKYRIM GUARDS! They make Star Wars Stormtroopers competent.
mirkokosmos: woah.. Skyrim guards. Fantasy’s answer to sci-fi’s Stormtroopers.
meficrow: >random guy in shit tier iron armor shows up one day saying a dragon is burning down a city >don’t know why the guards let him in >figure I can throw another body at my court wizard so I shuffle him over >Comes back with arrows
thosevideogamemoments: Topkeko: When the guards are too smart and see right trough your plot to hide the body.
The signs as Skyrim guard quotes
tashatelevision: sheephorns: sheephorns: [skyrim guard voice] you got a boyfriend? bet he doesn’t kiss ya! [sips drink] AURGH! by the nines, he hit the dab! You don’t understand until you have seen it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPkep-MTIpY
taibhsearachd: ruffboijuliaburnsides: jessicalockeisveryconfused: ruffboijuliaburnsides: taibhsearachd: So apparently in Skyrim, if you just eat all your stolen items in between the “wait I know you” and actually getting arrested, the guard
mmoboys: Skyrim Short: Roadside Fuck with Chris and Erox Those damn guards and their cock tax :(
ubersaur: like fuck this place for real tho. I walk in and a lady gets stabbed. I walk around more and some dude drags me into a haunted house and makes me kill him. I walk around more and my new buddy is murdered by the guards that are now trying to
kynarreth:guard: i need to ask you to stop. that… shouting… it’s making people nervous. dragonborn:
![tashatelevision: sheephorns: sheephorns: [skyrim guard voice] you got a boyfriend? bet he doesn’t kiss ya! [sips drink] AURGH! by the nines, he hit the dab! You don’t understand until you have seen it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPkep-MTIpY](https://69.media.tumblr.com/db4ba9746c8caeb53220cfe65b3eeb98/552904e889cf2bae-bd/s512x512u_c1/a35fae4ca3d5d775fa6ce1e6016dc71d0a7f80d5.png)
![tashatelevision: sheephorns: sheephorns: [skyrim guard voice] you got a boyfriend? bet he doesn’t kiss ya! [sips drink] AURGH! by the nines, he hit the dab! You don’t understand until you have seen it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPkep-MTIpY](https://40.media.tumblr.com/70a2818bb82f7f4b263708abf4f4d942/a8c7060ef9bb07d4-74/s512x512u_c1/aac4f395fcc9db805a5e1fc3517bc53bc472966f.png)
